“Defer no time, delays have dangerous ends.”

I relate too much to the above picture. I am a control freak. And when I come home for summer vacation it causes problems. I honestly think I am the only person in the world that experiences emotional stress from the word and experience of "vacation." I am home from university for the summer. There is nothing to do. It is driving me crazy. Literally. We're talking Merriam-Webster definition of crazy here. I'm insane.

Why? In the middle of a stressful term I wish for nothing more than to go home to Texas, take a load off, and just relax. I need nothing more than the stresses of classes, work, and even my social life to just melt away. Then when I finally get the chance to take a breath, I become stressed by the lack of stress in my life.

I can't fall asleep at night because I can't stop thinking about school or the lack thereof in my life. The fact that I only have so much time to "vacation" and the fact that I waste it thinking about school adds to the stress more and more until I find myself here-- on blogger. Writing to you about my insane obsession with productivity, if I can even call it that. In the most base of terms, I think I just crave being "busy."

Maybe it's because it helps me to feel in control--like time isn't getting away from me if I don't stop. Whatever the reason, this one thing I know...

Oh life. It's like being thrown on a trapeze with no initial practice- - and it can be a dangerous, yet beautiful, balancing act.

All my love.

Song of the day is Breathe by Anna Nalick.